michelle's five minutes

I wrote these on the plane yesterday, where I didn't have access to all our lists.... I'll update later today. **NOW UPDATED*

A. Waitress lifts right hand, stretches out right arm across table, stretches torso/side to reach plate, lifts plate, straightens torso and bends arm in, passes plate to left hand, places right hand on waist. Customer is speaking: "The danger is when you create a world, designed as a whole and for a whole people, made up of two individuals. This world-of-two depends for its survival on a single other person. The world-of-two is immediately surrounded and threatened by death. Death closes in around it tightly. Love immortalizes me. Only that which gives me life can take it away from me. That which gives, gives to enjoy, that which gives to enjoy, gives to fear its loss. Give to lose. The gift and its opposite."

Kimi (on phone) tells audience member "That is incorrect." Audience member repeats "That is incorrect" out loud so everyone can hear. Customer calls out a number and places that amount (tip) on the table. Long silence as Waitress and Customer have stare down. Waitress slams plate down, picks up tip, walks out. Customer looks at audience member and says, "Zoom. Fourteen minutes. Zoom. Another fourteen minutes. Zoom."

B. Waitress lifts plates off table and onto arm, stacking higher and higher. Customer watches, mesmerized. Kimi sings over the phone (into mic?). This is what she sings:

Forward, the Light Brigade!
Was there a man dismay'd?
Not tho' the soldier knew
Someone had blunder'd:
Theirs not to make reply,
Theirs not to reason why,
Theirs but to do and die:
Into the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.

C. Customer sings a list of objects for one full minute while eating soup. Waitress directs audience member to intermittently turn on and off a flourescent lamp. Each time, Customer flinches, but keeps singing. The list (in any order):

Chair
Table
Desk lamp
Clipboard
Egg timer
Light switches
Memory cards
Buzzer
Rhinoceros mask
Cups of coffee
Shoe
Horn
Steam
Race
Helmet
Captain
Forest
Staple
Balcony

D. Kimi gives instructions to audience member, who writes them on the restaurant's "specials" board. Another audience member (who has been given a white lab coat) copies the instructions onto a clipboard. Instructions include rules and outcomes. An egg timer ticks throughout. Her instructions include the phrases, "That's correct" and "That's incorrect."

E. Customer and Waitress dance. Audience member (instructed by Kimi? or sparked by an action?) sounds buzzer intermittently. Each time buzzer sounds, there is a misstep. Dance becomes more and more chaotic and clumsy. Customer and Waitress are driven further and further apart.